THE TWILIGHT ZONE

xtilldeathx13 @ 2005-01-18T14:15:00

2005-01-18T19:15:08Z

You scored as Chaotic Good. A Chaotic Good person is someone who has little intrinsic respect for laws or authority, seeing them as insufficient to sustain what's right. These people work according to their own moral compass which, while good, is not necessarily always aligned with that of society. Despite their chaotic tendancies, these people are good at heart.

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Chaotic Good

75%

True Neutral

60%

Lawful Evil

55%

Lawful Good

55%

Chaotic Neutral

55%

Neutral Good

55%

Chaotic Evil

55%

Neutral Evil

40%

Lawful Neutral

35%

What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Loner.

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Loner

88%

Drama nerd

81%

Goth

81%

Geek

69%

Ghetto gangsta

63%

Stoner

44%

Punk/Rebel

38%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

Im Bigger than Jesus

2004-08-23T18:24:48Z

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
Name:
You will conquer:	an Alternate Dimension (and banish the Alternate You back to this dump).
Your title will be:	Ayatola
You will succeed by:	Getting yourself elected (your opponent's name rhymed with Sodomy).
Your Enforcers will be:	Street Judges (from Judge Dread).
Your first act as ruler:	Claim to be "bigger than Jesus!"
(What happened after)	Try "The World Was Yours! What Happened?" MEME to find out!

Quiz created with MemeGen!

What Will Be Your Overly Melodramatic Death? by Celaeno
Name:
Gender:
Are you beautiful?
Your death:	Consumption: you will be in the arms of your lover, coughing blood. And singing.
Your parting words:	"Hey, what's that?"

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Become a God or Goddess. by zerogirl
Name:
God/Goddess of	Light
Element:	Ice
Animal Companion:	Phoenix
Weak against	Lightning
Weapon:	Staff

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Become a God or Goddess. by zerogirl
Name:
God/Goddess of	Disease
Element:	Fire
Animal Companion:	Crow
Weak against	Polka music
Weapon:	Sword

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Become a God or Goddess. by zerogirl
Name:
God/Goddess of	War
Element:	Wind
Animal Companion:	Raven
Weak against	Heat
Weapon:	Cross bow

Quiz created with MemeGen!

FUCKIN TERRIBLE DAY FUCK

2004-08-15T05:32:30Z

so today started out ok. I worked from 10pm to 730am got home at 8 fell asleep by 830 slept till 11 then got up and got ready for paintball/airsoft. The weather was good but there were clouds coming in. So to start my bad day we left and got about half way to seans house and i remembered i forgot my credit card. So we had to turn around and come back. So we got my wallet went to outbreak sports filled our tanks bought our balls and made our way out to Harrow. On the way we could see in the distance the rain clouds and we could actually see the area that was being rained on. When we were about 5 min away from the pball field it started to rain hard then soft then hard it was a really wierd patchy rain thinger. So we get to the field and our first couple games were like vietnam style with all the rain and my mask was being all lame and i couldnt see so i team killed sean and this other dude claud. So ya that was another part of my bad day. But then the rain stoped and it got really really nice and the day ran pretty sweet. I got a lot of amazing kills. I was like hiding in really long bushes and crawling around and i was just being all nuts(im pretty good at paintball/airsoft) anyways they day was running good as i said then 5pm rolled around and brad was taking off but i decided to go home with tom so i could play airsoft at the barn (which is an airsoft only area because the owners dont want paint all over their barn)oh ya i forgot to mention another part of my bad day was my airsoft mac 11 was being a real bastard and fucking up a lot it was really lame. Anyways we headed over to the barn and we picked teams and i was last fucking picked so i got kinda pissed about that so i said i would be odd man out and be a one man team. Well that backfired and i basically ended up sitting out for 2 whole rounds then they put me on a team. So the first game im in on a team we run out and things arent running too well, Tom gets killed then i hear a noise in the milking room so i move to the door and take out his killer then chris comes out another doorway and kills me so i turn and start walking back to the safe zone when what happens?? well i step on the biggest fucking rusty nail and it goes right through my fucking shoe sock and into my foot. I then drop to the ground rip off my shoe and sock and my foot starts gushing blood and covers my hand and pants so ya i go with tom back to his place and i clean it then i throw some polysporen on it and some gauze and some bandaids to hold that on then i wraped my foot with about 2 layers of duckt tape then 2 socks and put my shoe back in. I then returned with tom and played 3 more games which i dominated in untill the last one. I shot at this guy who lied about being out then killed me and it was really lame he was being a baby all fuckin day and getting on a lot of ppls nerves but i let it slide cause i was only there to have fun and play a GAME. so ya we go home then i am told by multiple ppl to go to the hospital. Oh and i forgot sara was/is all sick and shit and came home from work early (i was happy about that part cause i need her a lot) so ya that was bad cause i love her and hate when she is hurting. Anyways me tom and her went to the hospital and i got a michael jackson mask and then we did all that buisness and got my meds and now im home so ya now my week is fucked and tomorrow is warped tour and i can barely walk and wed is Agaist All Authority so fuck now what i cant even dance to my fav band and i cant dance tomorrow either all cause some fuckin idiot decided to put a board with naild pointing up outside a door FUCK im so pissed. but i love sara so much cause she is taking care of me as always even though she is sick herself. Im lucky to have her. Im gonna wrap this up now so i can eat and watch a movie and elevate my foot.
Love
Adam

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-08-13T14:42:00

2004-08-13T18:44:54Z

dirty Mexican boy and 12yearold girl.

iam so sneaky

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-08-09T15:25:00

2004-08-09T19:26:34Z

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-08-03T22:07:00

2004-08-04T02:08:21Z

If you and I were alone in a room right now, what would we be doing?
Now post this in YOUR LJ, and see what people wanna do with you.

you can post anonymous or not

its been a while

2004-07-31T20:28:22Z

I was looking at my friends journals and i saw this game thinger on Danika's. I thought it was pretty funny. feel free to post what u get in my replys i wanna see what else ppl get.

got 3 good Sara ones :

and

and last but not least

sneaky

2004-07-23T10:35:16Z

I love you , I love you.
I love adam and were gonna get married.

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-07-17T18:45:00

2004-07-17T23:03:51Z

I tried this 2 times and only channged my name with caps and non caps i got two funny ass results. haha I ENJOY CHEESE!!!

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn

Your name:

Weapon of Choice:

Coke bottles

Your Favorite Target:

Necrophiliacs

Your Kill Count:

1,382,675,382

Your Battle Cry:

"I enjoy cheese."

Years You Spend in Jail:

How Much Money In Damages You Cause:

$198,050,333,222,612

Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 27%

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn

Your name:

Weapon of Choice:

A fishing rod

Your Favorite Target:

High School Freshmen

Your Kill Count:

727,319,407

Your Battle Cry:

"Mutha fuckaaaaaaas!"

Years You Spend in Jail:

How Much Money In Damages You Cause:

$260,468,891,806,194

Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 95%

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

wont see sara for a few days that kinda sux but its cool shes probably sick of me anyways and needs a little break haha. Working is so fuckin lame i hate my job FUCK no days off ever its fag. so broke cant even eat at work so i starve for 8hrs then go home and eat whatever i can. Going to martina's house with sean tonight should be fun maybe sean will meet a girl that would be sweet. Did laundry today. im naked in a towel right now while it all dries haha. anyways thats all for now i guess i have to go shower and shave and shit and what not cause i smell like the ass chopper.
Love
Adam

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-07-16T11:11:00

2004-07-16T15:11:51Z

Old school punk! You just say what you have to say
regardless of what everyone else thinks!
You're one of my most favourite types of
music... You're raw and uncut! You're
surrounded by hype...just don't let it make you
go insane...

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RAPE!!!!

2004-07-16T02:13:20Z

i have a killer headach right now its like splitting my brain in half
ive been working way too much its lame but hopefully will pay off on payday.
sara is amazing and she bought me a sweet ass Timmy/gobbles gift cause i couldnt go to see napolean liger movie. I robot tomorrow night im so pumped i work till 10 then ill like walk to the theatre or whatev. Also tomorrow is hangin with sara b4 work and going to get bus tix for our super amazing trip to burly. Today i got a sweet unexpected call from Martina who i ran into last week. She asked me if i wanted to come over on sat for her bday getogether and i was like hell ya. We had tons of killer hang outs back in the day shes super rad but had to move to london for school so we stoped hangin but shes back for summer so its all good. Tonight im gonna watch a movie with the wife and cuddle it should be funners.i cant wait. im playing FFonline right now and drew is supposed to come over soon too so that should be good. i made an amazing playlist too and its making me really happy: A global Threat
Catch 22
Bob Marley
UB40
The Police
A New Kind Of American Saint
Fugazi
Atom And His Package
Choking Victim
BOLD
The Cure
HUM and thats all so far i will add more when i get close to the end Oi!!

so ya im tired as fuck have the headach but im in a good mood so all is rape in the world of shaw.
bye for now
Love
Adam

AFONLINE - Adam Finally Online (comp is fixed mofo)

2004-07-14T00:16:46Z

ok so things are back on track in my life.
Sara and I are good and well together so thats great and we havnt really gotten into any fights (only about 2 or 3 stupid little things but nothing bad). Ive been quite happy lately. My comp in finally fixed and everything has been downloaded and updated and patched and all that crap so im good to go haha. Band stuff is gay and not as good as it should/could be today was supposed to be practice but i didnt recieve any phone calls and i didnt see shane go online once so i couldnt ask if it was on.... lame. The band needs to practice a lot more or longer when we do cause i think we sound amazing and have a great chance to do something. I need time to work on lyrics but i havnt gotten that chance yet really. Ok ummm our pants will arive soon sara got an email from angry young and poor and they said they would send it to my house in canada and they didnt even ask for more money os that was good now we just gotta see what happens as far as lame ass boarder goes.I finally got a bullet belt too and its wicked.Im playing final fantasy online right now and it feels really good i missed it sooooo much. I cant wait for our burly trip it will be super awsome lots of sweet plans are going to happen which include toronto trip, grandpas 80th bday and visiting family, swiming at aunts houses, hangin with mr bighouse, hiking and splunking in caves and shit and what ever else i dunno yet. Also lots of good concerts coming up hopefully i can attend all the ones i want i have a feeling im gonna miss unseen cause i cant book it off hopefully i work in the morning on that day then i could go cause i would be off work at like 4 but my luck isnt that good. Warped should be fun too and trav i cant go to the toronto one cause i got a bunch of ppl i told i would go with here in windsor so u should come here and just be tired for one day of work it wont kill u haha.Oh sean called me today and gave me some wierd news apparently he has been having mini strokes or something where he will black out but still be doing shit then come to and not know what he did or were he is or how he got there and all that shit im kinda worried i hope he is ok he is supposed to go to the docs sometime soon or something so he may come over with a movie tonight if he is feeling up to it. so ya i think thats about it but who knows i mean my train of thought its fucked cause im in the middle of a pt on ffonline and i have to keep stoping to talk or fight or whatev. so ya im done bye bye.
oh and Danika u better send that letter soon and im sorry i havnt gotten online to talk for a while.
Love
Adam

p.s. Sara is hot

good day and top secret romance

2004-07-04T00:18:35Z

Im a secret but thats ok as long as i have her
im not allowed to write about her anymore so all ill say is that im happy and we are getting back together soon and our hangouts were so amazing
i have been missing her so much that it literally hurts my stomach kinda like when u meet someone for the first time or like go on a scary rollar coaster its a tickle kinda empty feeling in ur chest i hope i see her soon

Today was super amazing
paintball/airsoft.
I got so many kills and hardly any deaths in one game i got 7 kills outta like 9 guys and then later i got a few more so i guess all together i got about 13 kills all day it was cool cause i died only twice. This really sweet dude whos like 28, Willy, kept calling me Rambo the one man army cause i was killing so many ppl he was like man that fucker was like dodging bb's and paintballs like matrix. At one point i limbowed so low to the ground i looked like i was folded in half. Tom was like man during the escort the car/president mission we just watched u kill everone from the car it was nuts. haha i had a pretty amazing day i need a shower and i need food. The only thing that will make this day better is her. She definetly makes my life 100% better. SO ya im gonna go now and get all naked and wet and then lounge around in my boxers till im tired and want to sleep then i got work at 730 am then mon is my ass doc thing and we find out who wins the bet on weather i got cancer or not (shane bets no, I bet yes any other ppl want in on this)
Love
Adam

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-06-28T10:32:00

2004-06-28T14:37:04Z

i get the hint
im sorry i have bothered you so much
i just want to see you one last time before i say goodbye
i know its most likely all my fault that we cant be together now or ever
keep the money and the book i dont care about those things
i only said i wanted them so i could see u again
yesterday we had a severe gas leak 3 union gas trucks were working on the house from 8 - around midnight or 12 30 i think thats why i was so sick
i called you because i was actually in need of someone and you didnt even call me back this is how i know you want nothing to do with me
i came to you for help and ive made u hate me so much that you couldnt even help me
im sorry i caused u so much trouble in the last while i was just trying to fight for what i thought u wanted and i just wouldnt look at reality.
thankyou for one of the best years i have ever had and by far the best relationship i have ever had im sorry it didnt work for you
I hope you find someone who will give you what u need and deserve because thats all i want for you

on a different note ive lost my little tummy
infact my stomach is kinda curving in which is odd
my eyes are stinging but we know what causes that
i havnt slept for more than 4 hrs in the past 5 days
my heart is broken
this is all for now
i wish i was working so i would at least have something to occupy me
my life is a mess
that is all for now
goodbye
Adam

why

2004-06-27T22:41:31Z

you never once tried to fight for me
you abandoned me when i was at a point in my life that i needed you the most
i was your perfect guy till you found someone else then when that didnt work you came back but then another guy came along and now u have left me again.
you constantly try to make me look like the bad guy to make urself feel better and make urself look better.
You were infatuated with me and never really loved me i know this because when i said i couldnt see you anymore your reply was well you gotta do what you gotta do c ya.
thats all i was worth to you after a year and a half.
sorry im not tuff enough for you
sorry im not hot enough for u
I was always there for you in your times of need
now while im hurting the most and im in need of someone who loves me you are no where except to make things worse
you tell me that you are not into anyone else however your myspace would say otherwise
"Im a movie fanatic, I could cuddle on the couch all day and watch movies , and i think i have found a great person to do those things with " direct quote. you tell me that sitting around watching movies isnt good enough anymore and yet u certainly have found someone who its good enough for I even tried to make days for us to hang out so we could go out and do things but like today you had better things to do and better ppl to do them with.
You are ashamed of me and hide things that we have done recently and never really talk about me showing how little i really mean to you. We spent all of fireworks together and i wrote a lot about you and all the good times we had most recently as for your journal you barely mention our hangouts that apparently meant so much to you and yet you can talk at great lenght of your hang out with chad. I never had a problem with you having friends ever but when u tell me i mean so much and then talk on the phone to chad for an hour and a half while im waiting with a movie on pause and not even care or when u tell me ur not gonna be late haning out with chad (on a day we were supposed to hang out on) then show up at 3 and not even offer and appology it really shows your lack of love that you say is there
You have treated me like a piece of trash and you dont even care you cannot deny any of this because it is all fact. Im not saying you ever messed around anyone but u definetly put them before me and are definetly interested in him or them
you owe me the fucking truth about feelings and how it is.
oh and another thing we talked about seeing white chix together and you were all like ya we will see it and ill use my passes and everything then u went and saw it with chad then had the nerve to sign my journal and get mad that i was gonna go see it with sean. You are being completely selfish and mean to the one person u said you would love forever and never ever hurt you swore to be mine always and never let me go you promised to always be truthful to me

to make things worse you even came over and acted like things were ok during and before fire works.
we were even intimate together and it seems like you just wanted to fuck and that made me hurt even more knowing that i was used

do i really mean that little to you
why do you get off on hurting someone who loves you so much
I need my closure so i can move on
please at least give me that
I know your probably making me out to be a psycho and a total jerk but i have not done anything but ask for honesty
if you ever wanted me out of your life you could have said so
if you ever wanted someone else i would have left you alone but you keep telling me that you love me and all that other stuff that u swear is truth.
come clean
tell the truth
Ive never done a thing to you so why did you decide to do this to me?
Love
Adam

who cares..........i guess only me

2004-06-27T17:03:19Z

it really sux when u realize that the one person you love has done nothing but lie to you and play you for a fool. I really thouhgt i had found a different girl, a girl who i could love and would love me back. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her and give her everything i could. I offered more then possesions but that was not good enough she is still searching for something more. It hurts to know that everything she ever told me or wispered into my ear was a complete lie, it hurts to know that she continues to keep secrets and lie to me, I know when im out and its been done. I hurt like hell inside but ill pick myself up and move on. All girls are the same they lie cheat and use guys especially when they find a nice one (hence nice guys finish last one of the most true statements i have ever heard and has very few if any exceptions) Im sick of headgames and just plain sick of it all. I definetly have lost trust in all girls and wont be dating for a long ass time. Im sick of being the nice guy who gets fucked over i mean how can someone spend a year and a half with someone and act like it was nothing i dont get it. I really wish that that movie jim carry was in recently was real because i would sing up for that memory wipe in a second i wish i had never fallen in love and i wish i didnt have to deal with the pain of rejection and reality. All my life i knew i was not good enough so i always try to do my best and be as nice to everyone as i can and all that has ever gotten me was shit on. Maybe its time to become the asshole that all women seem to want maybe i should treat girls like objects and start being a "player" myself then maybe i wont have to deal with shit like this anymore. I know now that ill never open my emotions to any girl ill only open up to LJ and possibly my mom or travis but other than that im done. How can you look someone in the face and say ill love you till i die and never let you go, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and i could never hurt you. Well that shit certainly went out the window. I hate liers and the one person i thought would never lie to me became one of the worst ones. I feel like a void is in my chest time goes by so slow and i cant sleep at night. Im so tired, i cant eat. My hands look thinner than usual and i find myself weak and always thirsty my lips are chapped to fuck as well I dont think i am healty. Last night when i was trying to sleep my pillow smelled like her and i thought it would kill me. I wanted to rip out my nose and burn the pillow because it brought back so many memories and thoughts and feelings. I know i have been in love before but this is worse than i have ever felt maybe its because i was with her longer who knows but seeing her all of a sudden feel nothing for me and basically reject me is painful beyond words.
im gonna end this rant now because its just dragging one and repeating and making me feel worse.
i cant wait till im over her (if that ever really happens)
Love (i hate this word it causes more hurt than good)
Adam

when u love someone more it always ends in heart ach

2004-06-26T04:23:54Z

so ive decided to start living my life
i need to get over sara and stop hurting
its been painfully obvious in the most recent days that i love her far more than she loves me
i dont doubt that she loves me i just dont think its the way i want or need
she wants to be single and i respect that but the only way i can give it is if i break all contact for a while
ill always love her
maybe if i had met her a few yrs later things would have worked out
but who knows
im going for a walk i need some air
Love
Adam

Sometimes talking is all you need

2004-06-25T00:41:47Z

yesterday was amazing with the exception of a few minor mishaps. Sara came over after work and we hung out and had a lot of fun. We made diner and laughed and just basically enjoyed eachothers company. Later that night some lame shit happened but then fire works made shit perfect. I brought a comfy as fuck chair down from the attic and brought out a spare blanket and we cuddled and watched all the choppers/planes and fireworks. We laughed about how awsome the canadian flag looked and how long it was out for and how little attention they gave the american flag.It was really funny also the american flag was much smaller than ours Oi. Anyways shit was cool as fuck then we decided to watch a movie but that didnt go over so well because both of us were being dumb to eachother. But that got straightened out and a wicked cuddle fest and sleep happened. Today i woke up and felt really good. I love waking up around 1030 when the sun is coming in the window and there is a nice breeze and sara is next to me. It makes me never wanna move home to that stuffy,dark basement. Anyways i got ready for work and left. Work wasnt bad i got to hang out with brad and talk about airsoft/paintball, mordheim plans, and other pointless shit. I got a lot of work done and felt really good for some reason. I really like my job as long as Tim isnt there being a fuckhead. I hope he dies in a car accident hes such a douche. but anyways the only bad part about work was when a stack of milk fell off my skid and i lost about 2 cases worth of milk (a crate/case of milk holds 4 bags of milk for ppl who dont know) so ya i felt bad but Nadia told me not to worry and she would pretend she didnt see anything. My finger is killing me like crazy from when i sliced it. One healed up ok but the other is still jacked. Its not that it hurts so much as its annoying as hell. Anyways my night got even better when i got offered a ride home so i wouldnt have to walk from the meat lady. She tried to seduce me but i resisted (syke) but apparently i know her daughter or something cause she used to go to our shows and she really liked our band or something but who knows. Ya so i think ill end this post its almost 9 and im pretty tired and have to shit i think ill drop the kids off at the pool then beat Zelda 1 on nintendo.
Love
Adam

p.s. Thanks for the talk last night sara i really needed it :)

IM A NERD DONT FUCK WITH ME

2004-06-23T21:38:48Z

yesterday started good
i hung out with tom and we went to a bunch of stores it was like we were married haha good shit. then i tested my mac11 and it works so i dont have to send it back however i need the proper airsoft gas cause its like impossible to fill with the shit i bought. I saw steve peters and i gave him my ## and addy he said he would drop by sometime so thats cool hes a good dude and he stayed punk ahha. Anyways tom and I made diner and it was killer except i bit my lip and like almost bit through it it was really gross and now its like nasty as fuck looking. So ya i fell asleep and when i got up i watched seinfeld and thats always awsome then sara came over and shit started out ruff but then it got really good so i we were both happy.(i started this post at like 1230am and stoped cause brad got here its now 530 and im working on it again so ya deal with it if it seems wierd all of a sudden haha) Im not gonna go into details cause i dont feel like it and if u wanted to know what happened u should have been there. So ya basically things are on an ok track at least one i can deal with.
Im starving i dont eat enough. I go for my ass checkup soon hopefully no cancer. i burned myself like a million times today and hurt my fingers doing mordheim terrain but it looks good so its worth it. Oh and today me and tom got my gun working right BOO YA ITS AWSOME. me him brad and evan were playing with it. im going to eat now
Love
Adam

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-06-19T02:48:00

2004-06-19T06:58:29Z

ok so tonight i get home from work and make diner then i get a call from sara who asks me to walk to meet her from work cause her bike got trashed. anyways i get dressed and leave right away it takes me 1.5 hrs to walk to the mall and when i get there she isnt there so i start getting worried. I find a phone and call her house her mom says she isnt there so now im really worried. I walk around the mall and dont see her anywhere then i walk to an esso and call my mom she leaves work and picks me up. I use her cell and call sara's she picks up and im like what are u doing home where were u and im kinda yelling cause im upset and shit which is understandable. anyways she yells at me and gets mad that im mad and what ev so i tell her im gonna call her when i get home.
I walk in the house and i call her we argue but she is like screaming. and i try to tell her that if u ask someone to do u a favor like that the least u can do i wait untill they get there am i wrong? so i told her she was being selfish and we fought more and also i tell her the least she could have done was appologize and mean it but she wasnt even sorry.
So we fight and she hangs up on me so i call her back. then we fight more and then i say fuck this and hang up on her. Then she calls back and we fight more then i hang up again this time i go to shut my window and cut the end of my fingers off and im bleeding everwhere like mad so im trying to clean and bandage my 2 fingers and shes calling so i miss her call. so i call her back to tell her i didnt not answer on purpose. So then we start kinda arguing again and she starts fighting with her rents like mad and i dont know what the fuck was going on but it sounded like a war and i was silent on the phone and getting pretty scared. so shes screaming really loud and her dad is freaking out and her mom is too and i am too scared to hang up. so i dont then after a while she picks up and i try to end the convo and get off but she and her dad start fighting more and getting nuts then all of a sudden its totally quiet and i hear a sound on the other end of the phone so im just listening then her dad says and if your listening u asshole dont call here ever again then im start calmly talking to him and i try to explain what happened and he is like dont u understand what its over means and he keeps saying that then i tell him to just listen and that im trying to be civilized and have a conversation then he threatens to come to my house and be "civilized" and tells me not to try to manipulate him like i manipulate her and i tell him that im not manipulating anyone and that i told her when she dumped me that if she wanted me outta her life i would leave her alone and that she kept telling me she loved me and wanted me in her life. then he says dont u understand the meaning of its over or do i have to come over and do something about it. then he says he loves her and he dosnt want me in her life
then i said fine and i hung up the phone

thats what they all want so thats what they will have
ill stay out of your life sara i just wish u hadnt lead me on
i gave you all my heart and if thats manipulation then you dont understand what love is and neither does your family. Maybe one day you will realize what we had and what i offered you but probably by then it will be too late.
Goodbye sara
I love you
Love
Adam

HAWK CHOP

2004-06-17T03:51:34Z

So today was great so far
hung out with ben then Brad got here and he brought his new airsoft sniper rifle so amazing its got bolt action its wicked bad. so ya we played with that shit for like an hour then we started building terrain for Mordheim. Evan never came over like he said he would so we just built shit till 530 and it was killer. Oh my comp got a virus and wont turn on so tomorrow tom is gonna try and fix it cause he has an idea. thats like the only bad part of today.Anyways we went to the mall and picked up sara and we all hung out at the mall for a bit then after that we walked to the icecream place and i had a bananna split and it was yummy then we walked to rogers to rent a movie then the choppa for some shit we needed for diner.We ran into my aunt mom and granny so they drove us instead of letting us walk. They took us to shoppers and we all bought shit (mostly hair dye and what not) then i saw that swiss army was on for 15 bux (actually the lady told me cause i was saying how i need to save for it cause its so damn expensive) but anyways it was on sale so she got me the last one and i bought that. then it was off to the squat. When we got home we started making diner and it was really fun i did lots of dishes. right before tom left and before diner was ready the landlord gave us 3 packages that came in the mail. One was my MAC 11 and its so sick ill get pix of it and post it soon but anyways i was all excited and showing it off to sara and ben and me and tom were like playing with it so i was really happy. Then after diner (which was really good) ben and sara went into the comp room to use toms comp and i got a wierd idea. I went and got scissors went to the bathroom and hacked off the hawk. ADAM'S 6th HAWK R.I.P. 2002-2004. So i put that sucka in a bag then sara came in and she was all like awwww its soooo cute u look so hot i love it but i miss the mohawk but i love this its really hot u have to get gell so u can spike it up. so i guess it was a good decision. I was tired of never being able to put it up and just lugging around this mop that resembled a mullet it was really gay so ya off with its head haha. That brings me to now. Sara is with ben dying her hair and im typing on here. Im so happy trav is coming down soon too so thats bombsickle.ya anyways its time to go back to hangin with sara i hate being away from her for too long.
Love
Adam

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-06-15T23:28:00

2004-06-16T03:28:14Z

Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

xtilldeathx13 @ 2004-06-15T23:20:00

2004-06-16T03:20:49Z

You'd carve them up with your chainsaw. I like your
style, you show much promise. Join me?

How would you Murder?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fresh Start?

2004-06-15T01:08:47Z

ok so i typed like a whole post then my comp crashed so im gonna try this again. Today so far has been amazing. It started out with me waking up at 9am cause i couldnt sleep, then tom let me vent on him for like an hour. after that he went to bed and i decided to force myself to eat considering all i had eaten in 3 days was smarties and a bowl of lucky charms.So ya i made 4 eggo pancakes and i went out on the porch and just started to sit and think and it was beautiful out. The sun was shining on me and the wind was blowing on my neck it was then that i realized man im fucking depressed i need to fix my life. Sat there thinking and sharing my breakfast with the birds. I had a smile the whole time and it felt so good cause i havnt smiled in a real long time.

So i decided to start cutting the comp out of my life a bit cause its starting to own me. I am gonna start waking up everyday(except early work days) at 6am to jog,do push ups and situps. and im gonna start skateboarding again because that used to make me so happy and i used to be pretty effin good if i dont say so myself. anyhow i was now looking forward to hanging out with sara because i was gonna appologize to her because i treated her so poorly and didnt even realize it. I was so down i became super lazy and never wanted to do anything at all and started like neglecting her.

so ya time went by and she never showed up, it was around 1 30 and i was sitting outside i heard the phone ring but didnt catch it so i called sara sure enough it was her. she slept in and instead of getting upset i told her it didnt matter and not to worry and she sorta got mad but then i told her all about how i felt and how i was so happy now and how i felt so bad about how i treated her and how if it wasnt for her i would never have gotten better i had to hit rock bottom to see what was happening and help myself. Well she was crying and i felt really bad but then i told her that i really would still like to see her cause i missed her and just wanted to spend some time with her and just go out. so i offered to walk over to her house cause i wanted to get out and had to go to the bank anyways. so ya she was happy and said sure so i started walking.

I got to her house in like half an hour which is pretty impressive if u know how far it is.Anyways she opens the door and looks so happy to see me and we have the biggest hugfest ever and im like super happy at this point. then she tells me to wait while she goes to get dressed. anyways im sitting there and i start getting a little sad cause i know that we can only be friends but i dont get too down cause i know i would rather have her as my friend and be in my life than not at all.

So she finishes and we start walking to the bank and we start talking about all the memories we had in just that short distance and we just talk about a lot of stuff then at the end of her street she stops me and gives me a big big hug and we just held eachother for a min or so then we started walking again and talking.So we get to the bank and finish that shit up and we decide to go eat at pita pit. While waiting in line we start joking around and nudgeing eachother with our hips back and forth and shes like smileing at me in that special way i love so much so i reach over and just sort of stroke her arm lightly with my finger and she keeps smiling at me.

we get our food and sit down and start eating and joking around more and i start playing footsies with her so she says im so cute and i say no im not and she says ya u r so i figure what the fuck why not and lean over and give her a lil peck on the lips. she dosnt pull away or get mad and actually seemed to like it. so we keep our convo going and we both keep flirting the whole time. When we finished we headed to the bathroom which is one of those open a door which leads to a little room with 2 doors (male/female) so i go in the dudes and she goes to the gals and we do our buisness. Being the guy naturally i finish first and wait for her in the little room she comes out and we start hugging then we start making out and it feels so good i had missed it so much her lips are so soft and gentle i started getting butterflys like when we first started dating.

so we leave and i ask if i can hold her hand and she giggles calls me cute again and says ya and we walk down the street. It starts raining and we run to the cinema to take shelter along with many other ppl. There we hold eachother and keep warm from the wind and talk and kiss and people are all probably thinking we just started dating cause it felt like old days. so we stay there being in love for a while then when the rain stops we walk more and end up at the river. we sit and watch the farrie dock and a bunch of old ppl get off and this one old couple gets off and starts walking holding hands the lady is super short and the dude is tall and he has his pants up kinda high with his shirt tucked in and im like see thats what i want us to be. i want to grow old with u and just be happy and in love forever. and u can be like "adam pull ur pants down there too high" she laughs and says that that looks like it could be us cause the guy is tall and the lady is short we both laugh and talk about more shit some stuff is sad some is happy overall we just keep having a great time kissing and cuddling.then we move to a new spot and continue to do the same thing there.

next we walk to dr disc and look around for a movie for her dads bday. and we see a buch of memory movies and movies that we want but cant afford the whole time we are never more than a few steps away from eachother.(so i finished my post and was just about to hit update when again my comp crashes i had it worded prefect and then when i booted back up i found out i forgot to save my work and was only as far as where i started putting this)Ok so we both buy a movie I get Truman show cause i love that movie and it makes me cry sometimes and laugh and sara gets the best anti-heartless-corporation movie ever, death to smoochie. Next we go to a store so she can get us water and some change for her to take the bus to the mall she ends up also buying some chocolate covered almonds which were yummy. so we go out and wait at the bus stop and we keep talking and hugging and all that nonsense and then the bus shows up she decides that she will be coming over later tonight and we will cuddle and watch movies like the old days (i plan to make diner). so we hug and kiss and all that stuff and she gets on the bus. I then walk home and im on top of the world nothing can kill my mood.

Also there was talk of her possibly coming over on thursday after i get off work which would totally own my night cause i get off at 8 and dont wanna go do nothing. so ya thats about it up till now (hopefully i can post it without another crash) wish me luck and hopefully nothing bad happens.
Love
Adam

p.s. Sara i love you soooo much and i always will whether we are together or not.

its hard to type through tears

2004-06-13T13:21:38Z

im so fucked up right now
i just came home from work sick because i feel like im going to throw up
i cant stop thinking about her
im sweating but im shivering
i called her 2 times
its kinda funny how life can go from amazing to utter shit
in december/january i was so happy i was talking to my gradfather about wedding rings then as time went by shit got kinda bad she slows stoped liking me. april was when it began to totally break down she started going to the US and met him and slowing she started growing apart from me when we moved out i saw so little of her i was like she didnt want anything to do with me and she made it seem that way too
everything was different
i know it has to do with him
she may not have cheated on me but she definetly likes him more than she is letting on
i have seen the way she looks at him and read the way she thinks about him and how he feels about her it reminds me of how we once were. I would give anything to go back to december. i love her so much and i have never been in this much pain.
maybe i am fucked up
i wish i didnt worry about my mother because i would end my suffering right now.